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Finally Summer 5

NYC is pandemonium, the word “throng” never left my head. Couldn’t seem to cram it all into my camera, look how bad these are. I spoke with Candice Neistat about the best way to travel from Boston to New York, she said the train was better than flying. Miranda got a gold chain, saw the door of an uber car open to hit a trashbag full of hot live rats.

Scars from the Knives of Love

Are they too deep?


Is there any way I can love with them?

Must I wait for them to fade away?


Can I fall in love again, with these still visible

for you and for me?



Can I move past and create something bigger than myself.


Is there a way that I can grow?

Grow out of the scars,

the scars that are placed

on my heart, my mind and my lips


Shall it be a burden or am I just sitting in my own tears.


Is there something wrong or is this something others feel.


I feel empty from others, I push ones away, ones who I should not.


Days feel better when my bed is empty, just my skinny corpose

watching the time pass

days turning to nights.


I can’t tell anymore.


I can’t fall, for if I slip

who knows what new scars will be added?


Who knows if these scars will turn back into

bleeding marks.


Freshly cut by those who I thought loved me

like I truly loved them.


It scares you like it scares me.  These scars.  I am glad it does.

We can compare our scars, for maybe you’ll have some too.


Maybe our scars can fade together.  Maybe we have different scars

in different places.


Do you dare?


But with these scars…

there is not much more to love.


I feel unconscious to other’s love:

I am numb to the touch,

blurred to beauty

deaf to your voice.


My heart beats.  Can you hear it?

I’ve been thinking about when I saw you

at the party.

cup empty.

mind racing.

I look around

see the sweaty boys

and the girls huddled in packs.

that is when I feel the gaze

as I turn we lock eyes.

I see her.

and time slows

almost to a stop.

the music fades

and its just her and I.

brown hair.

blue eyes.

tight black dress.

a smirk rises from her face

as she catches me

tranced at her beauty.

she looks at the floor


she is far from me

standing up against the wall

with two guys talking to her.

I walk towards her

she is grabbing and yanking me towards her

with her blue eyed gaze.

I push through all the people

drop my cup on the floor

and go up to her.

she smiles up at me as I arrive,

barely taller than my shoulders.

I lean in to talk into her ear

and I am overwhelmed by her perfume.

the drugs

and the alcohol

overcome the nerves

and before I know it we are connected.

dancing to the music

tongues tied as we move.

she knows how to dance

rubbing her black dress up against me

she turns around, back facing me, still dancing with me

she puts her arms up in the air

and bends her head back laughing.

and our eyes connect again.

dancing seems like minutes

but lasts the whole party

but as the police arrive

shutting down the night,

I escape with her,

hands holding tightly.


we walk back onto campus

close together

talking to each other

saying small talk about nothing

concealing our real thoughts

hearts racing as we anticipate what will come next.

I slip on ice and fall

bringing her down with me

we both lay on the ground


I turn my head and look at her

and she rolls on top of me

and kisses me

then laughs.

I get up and pull her up too.

before I know it I am stumbling inside her room

she puts on music,

3005 by childish gambino.

she comes over to me

and looks up


she starts to unbutton my shirt

kissing my chest

and I lean down

and we are kiss again.

shedding each other’s clothes fast

lips staying contact as much as possible.

I lift her up

and settle her down gently to the bed

as she is undoing my belt.

she kisses my neck

as I lay above her

her hands touch

my arms, my back, my chest

as mine feel through her hair.

we gaze at each other

and time slows again

it all fades

and it is just her and I.


the orange sunlight

shines in

and illuminates her.

her head lays on my chest.

Rising as I breath in

and descending as I breath out.

we are still nude

covers barely hiding

our warm bodies.

my movement wakes her up

and she turns

head now resting on my arm.

her eyes open halfway

and she looks up at me.

I kiss her forehead.

her breasts are exposed

and she smiles then slaps my chest

as she catches me looking at them.

she kisses my cheek

then gets out of bed

and stands there looking around the room

I reach out and pull her back onto the bed.

she laughs and I kiss her.

we stare at each other again

and I lose myself in her eyes

as blue as the pacific.

we get up.

she puts on a tank top.

and I slide on my pants and shoes.

she buttons my shirt for me.

before I turn to leave I kiss her one more time

and she hugs me.

as I walk back to my room

time slows

my environment fades away as I think,

it’s just her and I.